In the Doctor’s Office: A Parent Perspective

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“Red udder”

One Saturday afternoon, my wife Mary and I were on our back deck, talking with friends. Jacob, my son, came out with a pair of children’s safety scissors, a long, hotdog-shaped balloon that we had blown up earlier in the day, and a red scrap of construction paper.

“Red udder,” he said, urgently handing me the items.

He was around 6, had been diagnosed with autism 3 years earlier, and so we had learned a disciplined patience in the face of his sometimes mysterious requests.

“Red udder! Red udder!”

“Nick’s story”

It can be useful to reframe how we come to see interactions with doctors. Though we may be inclined to view a visit to a pediatrician (or other specialists) as related to yearly checkups, vaccinations, or specific medical procedures and needs, it can also be seen as a social interaction, a relationship that ideally embodies effective interpersonal communication skills as well as knowledge of social expectations and rules. In other words, the office visit is not simply a set of discrete “tests”

“I will not be deaf”

During a recent trip to our doctor, I was reminded of the potential of these “best practices.” My son had been complaining of ear pain on a vacation to Florida. After a morning of swimming and a mid-afternoon shower, we thought he might just have water in his ear and encouraged him to shake his head. Rather than helping, this attention to the ear only increased his laments.

“I will not be deaf,” he moaned.

When we returned home, we set up an appointment. Because Jacob is 19, we have been seeking

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